They’re frustrating. They demand everything, want endlessly, but can’t do anything and have no sense of responsibility. We reach our capacity for controlled behavior and start yelling (sometimes yelling is a controlled tactic, though).
But we might yell too much. How can we stop this? It may be creating unwonted effects in our children.
Here are six things to consider, according to Claire McCarthy MD:
First off, reset yourself. Take a deep breathe followed by another one. You need to listen. There is often a communications issue, aggravated by the lack of a faculty for understanding the meaning or value of the communication inside the child’s head. You need to take some time.
Is it really the kid that is causing you to yell? Maybe not, maybe its some other stressor that’s got you to the edge, and you don’t have the resources to deal with the kid. Remember, you’re a parent.
Put yourself in kids shoes. How can you expect them to understand adult thoughts? You have to do the work of understanding things how they do, so you can guide them.
If its too much, take a time out (or several) and come back. Your yelling might just be making a problem bigger. Sometimes, there are no quick fixes and things can’t be forced.
Speak softly. Children then have to be quiet to hear you, and they talk quieter too. Yell quickly and the same things will happen.
Remind yourself of the good things about your kid, or one in particular. That will maybe give you the motivation you need to work for your kid’s best interest.